Humanity, Empathy and the One Sentence by Elizabeth Edwards That MadeMe Cry

Empathy, by definition, means the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. It’s a word that I’ve used or been called many times over past years. Sometimes I have a very difficult time deciphering if being overly empathetic is a blessing or a curse.

I thought of this tonight because of one small sentence in the forward of the book I’m reading, which triggered my tears. Not a flood, but enough that my friend who was present asked if I ever wonder if I’m “overly empathetic”. Yes, a million times. And no, I don’t consider myself “overly” anything.

The woman writing it was Elizabeth Edwards. I may disagree and differ from her in many ways, but I admire the strength that she demonstrated during her last years. She had lost a child, she had a cowardly wayward husband and had subsequently lost a great love during the darkest days of her life.  And through this, she held fast to her children and her dignity, determined to spend her remaining time with the people that she KNEW deserved it most. She did it with grace.


I have, over the years, given an ample amount of thought to this trait of mine. I had always thought that everyone was as sensitive as I was when it came to “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes”. That wasn’t the case, which I recognized when I grew up, physically and mentally. I know this had much to do with my upbringing. My parents made it a point to show us all sides of the spectrum, to make sure we weren’t some suburban, sheltered kids. I know it’s just what it should be.  Humanity.

hu·man·i·ty

1) all human beings collectively; the human race; humankind. 2) the quality or condition of being human; human nature.  3) the quality of being humane; kindness; benevolence.

I think there was a time when people cared for others that way, a general attitude of caring, taking care of your neighbor, being a collective community. I know as well as the next person that there are people who simply don’t deserve my care.  I know there are annoying in-laws, horrid ex's, generally unkind people. And while I don't have to include them in my everyday thoughts and being, I do throw them a shout out when I'm tossing around some good vibes. Because being caring and empathetic makes you a more loving and happy person. You do get what you give, of this I am absolutely certain.

I'll continue on this hippy, happy way of loving the world I live in and the people I exist with. I hope you do as well. I hope that everyone remembers to check on their neighbors, to help a stranger, to let yourself feel other people's joy and their pain.  You're probably wondering what the heck this sentence was that reminded me of what a "feeler" I am.  It is sad, but it is love and life, it is worth remembering every day whether it applies to your own life or you are feeling on behalf of someone else.  This is what Elizabeth Edwards wrote about the author of the book I'm reading, "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart" by Gordon Livingston:

"And most of all, I'm grateful for the chance to repeat to Gordon the words of his son Lucas, who at six was awaiting death as the bone marrow Gordon had donated failed to work the medical magic they both deserved: "I love your voice."

There will be a time when you depend upon someone else, whether it's those annoying in-laws who suddenly are lifesavers or a total stranger, hopefully it’s someone who is a believer that kindness and empathy shouldn’t be a rare trait.  Someday we will get back to that being a way of life, versus it being something that gets remarked about because it’s different.  It has to become a movement, and it has to begin with me and with you. And it has to start now.