Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Enjoying the Holiday Minus One and Halloween Craft Links

Everyone who knows me can tell you that I've always been a Halloween fan(atic). For ten years, I hosted big Halloween costume parties that my wonderful friends spent months thinking about costumes for. I've been a witch (a million times), Queen Elizabeth, a dominatrix, a vampire, Satine from Moulin Rouge. The whole nine yards. I even have a casket in my basement. That last prop is my favorite, especially when I have a cable guy come to the house and I get to tell him that the cable hook up is in the already spooky basement, to the right of the casket. That REALLY gets the looks!



But a few years ago, when I got separated and simultaneously my younger sister stopped speaking to entire family, the fun of the Fall season, especially as a precursor to the holidays, stopped being fun. I stopped hosting my party, I didn't do my normal decorating or autumn walks with my kids. I didn't celebrate the autumnal equinox or iron leaves in between two pieces of wax paper ( a personal favorite). Thanksgiving and Christmas with my wonderful family had become not so lovely. Not because we didn't want to enjoy it, but the dynamic of attendees, mostly my sister, was very different. The loud laughter wasnt there any more, and my mother and father in particular were withdrawn and quiet. I know I would be also if my daughter didn't speak to me. Especially considering how hard they worked to raise us very close, and with a strong sense of family that would work anything out together.

So here we are, years later. She is still not speaking to the majority of us and doesn't come around for gatherings. But you know, that's okay. That's her choice. I don't have to agree with it, I just have to move on from it.  Which I have done, but the family hadn't.  I'm a firm believer that I don't have time or interest in trying to convince someone to be in my life, and why I should be in theirs.   It should be an organic, natural feeling.  But one member of a family can't change the dynamic alone.  In a negative way, yes, because she did by leaving.  But after that, the family had to be reshaped.  And there had to be a grieving period that no one else can live for you. That takes time, it takes strength and it takes work. And it takes understanding.  I didn't possess that in the beginning.

Suddenly... something changed. My mother, who is obviously the cornerstone of the family along with my dad, has become more engaged. We've been going out together again and visiting again. The black cloud has lifted, the hardest part of grieving seems to have passed. Or perhaps we all just recognized how short life really is.

I'm even more committed to making this holiday season, starting now, the way it always was. Yes, it's changed but here's the fact: those of us who WANT to be an active part of the family are still here. And we need to stop waiting around for someone who has "opted out" of the family. It's their loss, let them create their own happiness. Finally, we're recognizing that we have to do the same. I have kids to make into holiday fanatics. I have a wonderful family to spend time with NOW. And I have friends who love it as well, so why not enjoy what I've got right now? I've learned that I'm very glad that I'm not the one who opted out, it's made me happy to know that I am committed to working through family issues, versus running from them. Every family has issues, but not everyone has the committment to working it out.  I don't want to miss a Christmas, or a hilarious family birthday dinner or a chance to make a new memory.

In celebration of this awesome time of the year, I'm sharing a couple of my favorite DIY crafts. Check out these creative blogs, they have fantastic ideas, especially great for treats to send in with your kids to school, or to hide away in the corner and eat by yourself. Not that I've done that. I just promise not to judge you if you do!



I hope you're enjoying this time of the year. In times past, this is the time of the year to rest and celebrate with family and friends after a long harvest season. Put your own spin on it by embracing what and who you have in your life right now. Stop worrying about not being able to change someone else, and work on making yourself the best you can be.  I get to making some memories by ironing leaves in between some wax paper sheets. I'm sure you'll love it too.



"Every beginning is a consequence - every beginning ends some thing."  ~Paul Valery

Check 'Em Out:

The Paper Wreath at Retropolitan

marshmallow Jack O Lanterns at A Simply Klassic Home

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

If You Only Read One Speech, Make It This One by Steve Jobs.

On my way home from yoga tonight, I heard that Steve Jobs had passed away. Over the years I spent in finance, I read many interviews with him and was very familiar with his impact on that industry. The waves he created were still ripples when they arrived at my office and impacted our investment decisions. But after I "retired" from wealth management, and I began to spend time looking inward I began to read about Steve Jobs, the man.  Especially after he was diagnosed with his illness, he began to speak about it and his reflections on life.  I learned that he was a Buddhist, he didn't allow his children to watch TV for fear that it would stifle their creativity, he lived in an unfurnished house for almost 10 years, he slept in the Lincoln bedroom, he was married for 20 years to the love of his life. And in 2005, he gave the commencement address at Stanford.

There was a time when I would've never slowed down to read a speech (it sounds ridiculous to READ a SPEECH!). But those years are behind me, and frequently in my writing and my occasional life coaching moments, I struggle with explaining my approach to life. I got many odd looks when I tattooed "C'est La Vie" and "C'est La Mort" on my arms, which is Such is Life, Such is Death.  But to me, you can't appreciate your life without understanding that it's a gift. Every second of it.  It's not morbid, it's fact. You can romanticize it all you want, but the facts are the facts. So today, right now, live your best life, love yourself and those around you. Steve Jobs got that, because he had no choice. But you do. So I say start today.



So without further ado, here is his speech. I cannot add anything to it, it's perfect the way it is.  Please read it and think about it, meditate on it, sing it, I don't care. Just hope that it sinks in:

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last-minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Monday, October 3, 2011

The "Kiss" Off: My 100 Item Update

About three weeks ago, I posted about my own personal 100 Item Challenge. This was originally intended to help me along with the physical part of my eventual move out of my house. I’ve found it to be much more helpful with my emotional preparation though.  It’s been oddly cathartic, and I’ve really enjoyed giving away items that don’t have the best memories attached to them for me, but hopefully they will bring joy and good memories to the next person.  Plus, I’m down one chiminea, two pictures, 23 pair of jeans and a bunch of professional clothes from my “past life”.  In my eyes, that equates to at least three boxes, two pictures that would go from the attic here to the attic there and a chiminea that got red dust on me every time I looked at it.  Not to mention it had a big star and horseshoe on it, with the word “Texas”. And clearly any short sighted goal I had to move to Texas in those five minutes I spent deliberating to buy it have flown out the window.  I haven’t seen any chiminea’s with “Pennsylvania” emblazoned on it. Can’t imagine why not.  



For instance, this story really demonstrates how this process has helped me come full circle: Many years ago, a close friend of mine gave my ex-husband and I a print of “The Kiss” by Gustav Klimt for our engagement present. She knew that it had been on the front of the first card he had ever given me, when we were 21 years old.  Fast forward thirteen or so years. She and I are no longer friends and he and I are broken up. And that picture was still floating around. I don’t harbor a grudge, and I don’t look back at my marriage with any regret. I don’t, however, need constant reminders of it. So I took a picture and posted it on my trusty go to site: Craigslist.  And sure enough, in a matter of hours someone had committed to it and said she would drive up the next day to pick it up.

Sure enough, the next day the young woman arrived with her small son in tow. I went out to meet her so my ferocious guard dogs wouldn’t flip out. I introduced myself, put the picture into her back seat next to her sleeping little boy and chatted with her for just a few moments. Nothing big, just smiled and sent her off with a wave and a picture that needed a new lease on life.

Imagine my surprise when I received an email from her later that day. She explained that she and her family had recently moved to Philly, and that I was the nicest person she’d met so far.  She had been here for almost two months! I explained that I thought she was exactly where she was meant to be, and I assured her that Philly got better. I sincerely hope this last part is true…Philly can be a tough town!

How great it was to give away a sentimental item that had gone from a shiny sparkly memory to a dull and rough one. Now it was in a new house, gathering new appreciation and hopefully having an opportunity to redeem itself in the memory department. And along the way, I got to make someone happy, feel good about giving something away and make a human connection.  And all it took was a smile, a recycled picture and a few small moments out of my day to say “Hello, how are you?”

No big deal, right? When I run out in my yoga pants the next time, with my hair all wonky and no makeup on and just basically want to hide my sleepy face, I will still remember to take a second to stop and smile and say hello. Sometimes it’s all that stranger needs to keep her chin up in a new town, or to put in one more day that she didn’t think she wanted to put in. I’ll remember it the next time I am speaking with a waitress who tells me the cook is out of just what I fiercely wanted at the moment (that was pork roll, this last Sunday), because she’s likely just there to feed her family or to make some extra money towards her goals. And I’ll remember it the next time I deal with a stranger that I never know their own unique story, they could be looking to make a fresh start and shed some old memories like I am. And I hope in their memory and my own, I’ve got a big, warm smile on my face.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Former Cynics Path to Yoga, with Doubting Thomas as a Travel Mate

I recently decided to commit more time to me. Just me and what makes me happy. Summer was really hectic, and now that it's winding down I am grateful to have time to myself. I took up guitar, which has been a humbling and electrifying experience. And I decided to return to yoga.  Ten years ago, yoga changed my life and was the beginning of my "awakening" period. I found myself telling two friends about that time in my life recently and decided I'd share it with you, in the hopes that if you are on the verge of saying yes to something that feels right, it pushes you over that ledge into the wonderful unknown.



Ten years ago, I lived a very different life. I was at least 40 pounds heavier with cropped bleached hair and I hide behind pounds of makeup. I worked 60 hours a week in finance, and was a mom, wife and what I suspect was a crappy friend. I had been married for a short time by then and was the breadwinner, which dumped some added pressure on me. So when my office told me I'd be picking up two additional roles, I didn't dare say no. After all, I was getting the two jobs of people who had been let go, I didn't want to be next.  I lived in fast forward, I drove a fast car, I cooked fast, I worked fast and I never slept. I also lost everything that makes me...me.  Which was a lot, considering my thousand and one interests and quirks. 

I started to notice I was aging rapidly.  I had bags under my eyes, I was fatigued and most alarmingly, my hair was falling out. I have the most obnoxious head of hair, which I've become grateful for over the recent years, and I have lots and lots of it.  So for me to have hair loss that was noticeable is alarming, I assure you. I promptly ran to my OB/GYN, because I was certain it was a simple hormone imbalance.

My OB is a jokster...his license plate says "GOLDFNGR". I'm not joking. When I first read it I was certain I was supposed to be appalled by an OB/GYN having a license plate that declared him Goldfinger, but instead it put me at ease that he didn't take himself too seriously.  He is one for speaking directly, however, and gave me a severe talking to when I got in his office. After insisting that I can't be super mom, super wife, super executive, super daughter, super sister and super friend without some kind of balance, he told me I needed to quit my job and take up yoga. Okay Doc...dont send me a bill then, because I'll be broke and living in a card board box. No forwarding address for me.



I knew I couldn't quit, but I could do the yoga part, right? Except that I left out one big hurdle: I was extremely critical and a sarcastic person, and totally unwilling to be open to the New Age hocus pocus that yoga represented for me.  I looked up a close studio, and went armed to the hilt with eye rolls, snorts and snarky comebacks.  I walked into the studio, which was admittedly beautiful and had lovely music playing, and was full of woman on their yoga mats chatting it up.  They were a friendly enough group, I thought. I wasn't sold though.  I tossed my blanket haphazardly on the floor, eye roll at the ready.

And then the instructor walked in, all wrapped in white and surrounded by a light I had never seen. And she was serene. How many people can you say that about?! None for me up until that point. She was smiling and happy, and looked at peace. And immediately, I slowed down and one thought popped into my head: "I want that peace."  That was a moment for me.



So I went through the class, uncomfortable with the chanting and quietness that existed. And though I knew I wanted that peace, I didn't want to think that yoga was the answer or even part of it. I didn't like to be slowed down, because then I would be force to do what I had spent years NOT doing: looking honestly at myself. Seeing starkly what I didn't like about my life, which was a majority of it, other than my daughter. She was seemingly the only thing I was doing right.  My career was going well, but it took me working myself to death in order to be successful at it.

But I went back, because I had no other options and no other place that provided me that quiet that I found in that room. And slowly, my cynicism dropped away. My heart opened, I began to want to give back.  I was starting to see things clearly, and it wasnt as scary as I thought it was. I realized I had time to get back what I had lost.  But I also became painfully aware of how much I HAD lost, which made the road ahead a long one.



Even after I realized how long my road was, I knew that I had found the one important thing I had lost over the years: HOPE.  I continued practicing at that same studio for some time afterwards, I committed as much time as I could, which was admittedly not enough. I moved far away, I tried other studios. Not one compared to that original instructor, so I attended drop in classes with her as much as I could, which some years was very little. But I found  a few very good practices closer to my homes and attended them somewhat regularly over the years. But they were always more what I call a "gym" practice versus a spiritual practice.  However, I was still practicing and I was happy to have that over the years while I made some very drastic life changes. I always came back to it when I needed it.

Recently I had a friend mention she wanted to begin yoga, and I felt that she may be exactly where I was all of those years ago.  I took it as a sign to take her to my original teacher, in the meantime I welcomed the chance to return as well.  We went last night, and I was happy and content, and exactly where I wanted to be.  She decided today to commit to a six-week course, which will be the most time she's spent on herself in years.

I'm blessed that I have found a path that has worked for me, I'm hopeful that she (and you, if you havent yet) will be as lucky. It's varied and bumpy sometimes, and veers off track periodically. But my path surely leads to my True North, of this I'm certain.

Keep your eyes open, the opening to your path could make itself visible to you any day. Just make sure you stop rolling your eyes long enough to see it.



*If you're interested in the Lotus necklace seen above, please follow this link to Payton Woodcraft. It's beautifully inspired.  If you would like to attend a yoga class at the best place around, please visit the Khalsa HealingArts Center website for information. Namaste.

Monday, September 26, 2011

No polyester required Pot Luck Dinner. Warning: Only invite people who can cook.

One thing I’ve learned to master in my singledom is party hosting. I use the term master very loosely, please remember. What I mean by that is that I have learned to not stress, which in turn makes it successful to me. To the attendees? I’m not entirely sure.   But I do think there’s a lot to be said for a party at which the host isn’t going bonkers and sweating profusely.  Come on, we’ve all been there.  Either as the sweaty hostess or the party goer who can’t stop looking at the sweaty hostess because it’s like a train wreck.

At some point, I just realized that only so much will get done.  I usually continue to do small things once my girlfriends arrive because most of the time, we hang out in my kitchen regardless. So I push the small items (slicing, dicing, dips, etc) to the last moment. And there are worst things then having your friends there to talk to and help you out while you all catch up. It makes it not seem like work. More like working distracted (don’t slice and dice while distracted…or they will be driving you the ER. Not fun.)  Anything messy and on the stove I take care of ahead of time, I try to always make sure my mess is cleaned up prior to any arrivals.

But I have recently (yesterday) discovered the best way to reduce stress and simplify. And bring the 70’s back….drum roll please….POT LUCK DINNER PARTY!  I know there are some associations with the name “Pot Luck”, such as: “Do I have to wear a polyester jumpsuit?”  Nope.  “Does my dish have to be served in a goldenrod colored Corning ware?” Nah. “Will Saturday Night Fever be playing in the background?” Maybe.  But please men, no open shirts with exposed chest hair and gold chains. Thanks for that.

Oh, I Googled 70's and polyester and Ralph Furley came up. I love him, and that show. Just saying.



What I did was ask a few trusted friends over. And by trusted, I mean friends that I know are good cooks. I’m no dummy!   I set a time and a theme, which in our case was just Fall. I told them each what the main dish would be (i.e. the meat of the meal, or what dish the meal is built around) which was turkey, and I supplied the drinks, bread and location.  One friend brought a starchy side (Twice Baked Potatoes!), another brought the veggie side (Green Bean Casserole, which I traditionally hate but hers rocked) and the other friend brought the dessert and app (Apple Pie, Toffee Pear Sticky Pudding and Baked Brie for an app). Everything was outstanding, and ready to go when everyone got here. All I had to do was have the table set and room for the dishes available.  And then guess what? Everyone got to sit down around the table and enjoy each others company!  That alone is amazing to me. No one was running around or spent time worrying about what wasn’t done. 



I did make sure I had a “kid zone”, which was a table covered with plastic sheeting, stocked with markers and coloring books that they could eat at (I have chicken fingers and juice boxes for them so they were happy and parents could relax). 

We got to have a delicious, team effort dinner with few interruptions or requests.  And I got to deliver my thought out toast (I did think it out for about 35 seconds), which was nothing more than, “To us, at this moment.”  Because after all, who knows what will happen a month or a year down the road?  All I knew was at that moment, surrounded by love, good wine and good food, I wouldn’t have asked for anything else.



Here are the directions for the delish Twice Baked Potatoes, thanks to Rod and Katina:

Begin by microwaving your potatoes, unwrapped, for 8 minutes for one and adding two minutes for each additional potato (So three potatoes equals 12 minutes).  Once cooled, scoop out the inside of the potato, you can halve them and leave the empty half skins aside. Empty the potatoes into a bowl, add warm milk (it's important that its WARM milk, cold screws up the texture), butter, salt and seasoning to taste. Katina favors garlic powder.  And the most important part (also known as her "secret" ingredient. Obviously not so much now.) is shredded white mozzarella cheese.  Add it into the potato mix, again to taste. It ends up almost looking like an instant potato consistency.  Scoop heaping spoonfuls of the mixture back onto the empty potato halves, top it with shredded cheddar cheese (crumbled bacon would rock right about now, for all you diet conscious folks) and bake for 10-15 minutes at 35 degrees.

And the directions for the awesome Green Bean Casserole, also known as "Kristi's Slightly Famous and Slightly Crunchy Green Bean Casserole":
2 lbs of fresh green beans

French's onion rings 2 lg containers

2 cans of cream of mushroom

1 can of cream of garlic

 3 oz of sharp cheddar cheese

1/2lb of your favorite american cheese

 

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Clean and cut ends and of green beans.   Then cut green beans to desired length.  I usually cut into 3 pieces which makes it a good bite size.   Put into large casserole dish or two small if you would like to save one.  

Add 2 cans of cream of mushroom, and the can of cream of garlic and mix well so all the green beans are covered.  Add one can of onion rings.   Shred sharp cheddar and sprinkle though out and mix well with all the other ingredients,  layer the top with the slices of american cheese.  Sprinkle a thin layer of onion rings.

Cook for 25 minutes and serve.  

Guaranteed that who have shied away from this Thanksgiving staple will now have a new favorite to look forward to every year:) <----Says Kristi. Though as a former vehement hater of GB Casserole, I agree that this is a fresh and awesome new take. I know it has something to do with the american cheese.

 

And lastly but certainly not least is the link for the Toffee Pear Sticky Pudding that Andrea made.  I assure you, even when you're full from turkey, roast, twice baked potatoes, green bean casserole, bread, butter, wine and brie, you will make room for this pudding. Not that I ate all of those things and still had dessert, but I HEARD of some woman who did. And I also heard she wasn't sorry. At all.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Map of the US= The Map of Us



Last weekend was the last of my extensive travelling that I’ve been doing this summer. Whew!  Despite my vast love of travel (hence that “Wanderlust” part in my blog title) I am happy to have some down time. I have many things in my house that have been neglected for an entire summer. And I’m not even mentioning my garden that has become a little shop of horrors.

I began to do a mental count of my summer in numbers, and came up with this:

8- states I traveled west through and then east again on my way to and from Colorado

7- beach weekends

12- books read

2- mountain ranges that I have slept in the valley of

1- Fourth of July Fireworks show attended in the Rockies

1- highest unpaved road in the United States travelled

1- five star hotel I’ve stayed at in Vale

1- horses ridden (well, he ran) while laughing maniacally through the Rocky Mountains

4000- miles put on my camper since its purchase in May

10,105- Uncomfortable, unforgettable, educational and spiritual moments spent with friends, lovers, ex-lovers and family



 I could go on, but when I did a Google search for a map to count states on, I had to input this into the little, all too familiar Google window: Map of US.

Now, on the surface, it looks like just what it was, me doing a search for a map of the United States. But then I looked again, and saw that it said “map of us”.  And it dawned on me that all of these numbers I was looking up were exactly that: a map to me, and to the kids and me.

I spent the summer showing my kids numerous valuable lessons without trying too hard, which I think are the best lessons.  I showed them that best friends are important, and they’re family. That you can travel across the country with them, or sit in the sand with them, it’s the time spent that counts most. I demonstrated that you can meet and be close friends with people who live thousands of miles away, it’s only geography. Sometimes kindred spirits can’t be limited by distance, and that people are brought into your life for a reason. 



We all lived the lesson that, even if it’s terrifying for a moment (or several), sometimes climbing up that unpaved pass up a mountain opens the door to you seeing things that most other people will never have the courage or privilege to see, let alone share with each other.  I got to see wildlife that only grows 14,000 feet above sea level.  And I shared it with my kids who will never forget it.



I taught them the lesson that hard work pays off, whether it’s by buying a camper and camping out with your kids or spending an expensive night at a five star, fancy shmancy place (as seen below!).  You have to work for what you have, and you can choose to have as much or as little as makes you happy.



I realized today that this map that I’ve drawn for myself and have helped my kids draw, is priceless… that they’ll look back and realize they can live fearlessly. They can make friends with strangers in campgrounds, they can cry over beautiful moments forever impressed in their memory; they can enjoy the simplicity that they find in quiet while swinging on a swing set in the Rocky Mountains. That they are free to enjoy the unforgettable sound of high white birch trees as they sway over their heads while on horseback.



And most importantly, they realize their map is theirs to complete.  Just as mine still is, every day. I make my choice of who my friends are, who I give my heart to and how I spend my moments every day. 

Your map is all your own, for you to find you own compass to navigate it with. Now’s your chance to pull out your highlighter and throw out your GPS and decide where you want to go next!