Bathroom Barfer

Occasionally, you come across something that you have to share, as a service to those around you. Sometimes, it’s useful information like recipes, coupons, DIY tips. And sometimes, it’s something so stupid, ridiculous and hilarious at the same time that it actually makes you question yourself because you sat for the last 20 minutes reading it. Not that I do that. But I “have a friend” who does. So, in honor of taking a few minutes out during the day to just make yourself laugh, let’s talk about Craigslist “Missed Connections”.

It’s no secret that I had been out of the dating game for well over a decade, and even when I was dating, I didn’t like it. So, when I did start dating again after my split, I realized that I still hated it. I had a single friend who was glorious at dating. Now, she is naturally sports-oriented. Me? Not so much. So she approached it like a sport, she was organized, she kept her eye on the ball and I swear she had a play book and roster hidden somewhere. I had none of that; I am a naturally crappy sports player and dater. And now I know why. Craigslist “Missed Connections” solved it all. I was going about it ALL wrong!

Some people (my friend) are naturals. The rest of the world is still fumbling around, split between hot messes (again, see “Missed Connections”) and me, who in my dating awkwardness still happened to land a guy who holds the door for me, laughs when I spit something out that was probably left better unsaid and is the last guy I can imagine writing a missed connection labeled “Bathroom Barfer”. I’d like him to stick around for a while, so that I can avoid being any of these following titles taken directly from MC, under the section of guys looking to reconnect with girls they’ve admired in these various situations:

Apr 28 - i'm a big fat guy and you're a big fat girl - m4w - 24

Apr 28 - two drunk girls on Lancaster walk - m4w - 22

Apr 26 - That Fine Lady In Pants At Target - m4w - 33 * just a note here, I thought EVERYONE wore pants to Target?! Guess not.

Mar 22 - sorry i was needy on friday - m4w

And, of course, the Bathroom Barfer, who garnered this lovely sentiment of adoration from a stranger: “hey i was going to puke my guts out and you were already puking i think thats great and i want to get to know you with the chance you will look at this; i think i found my soul mate learched over a potty heaving rotton love into a toilet bowl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Clearly, my aversion to throwing up in public toilets (or at all), my intolerance of improper grammar and my insistence on correct capitalization of the letter “I” has been holding me back all along. Thank you, Craigslist MC, for clearing this all up. I owe you one.