My thoughts on 29 being the "ideal" age to start a family. Im way ahead because I had mine at 22, but way behind because I didn't know there was an ideal!

While I was watching the news this morning, they were discussing a recent report about woman and starting families. Out of the women interviewed, by a very good majority, they selected 29 as their “ideal” age to start a family.

I don’t know about you, but I didn’t have much planning going on when I started my family. I was young, 22, when I had my daughter. And shortly thereafter I got married. And ten years after that, I got divorced. I’ve done a lot of thinking about that, as divorce will make you do. And if I came to any conclusion at all, it’s that there is no “ideal” age. Yes I was young to have a child, but I was mentally ready. It was unplanned, absolutely, but I do feel as though she was my gift and singlehandedly helped me to redirect and refocus my life. And if it was time for anything, it was for that. For me to begin my life and stop screwing around. I think that while I was ready to have my daughter, I was not ready to get married. At 22, I was doing what was expected of me by society. I looked at my upbringing, and my parents had raised three girls and been married forever. Being married was what I was supposed to do. Getting divorced after ten years and two kids…not so much.  But look at these faces! Couldn't be any MORE ideal for me!



But there’s that phrase again, “supposed to”. We’re supposed to have an outstanding career, we’re supposed to know what we want to be when we grow up, we’re supposed to have all the answers, we’re supposed to be an island, and be the perfect friend, wife and mother at the same time. We’re NOT supposed to show weakness, cry or ask for help. Or get a divorce, or to be a mom or dad without all the solutions. I say what we’re supposed to do should be this: to be ourselves.

Let's not have one more study that some ridiculous group has spent money performing that tells us, yet again, what we should be (but we’re probably not!) doing. Every day there is something else that tells us how to lose those last ten pounds, how to be the woman who every man wants, how to be more like those disastrous celebrities we see checking themselves into rehab every day.

So how about this? Go out to the beach and ROCK that cellulite, eat that ice cream with your kids, cut your hair how you want to, spend a lifetime figuring out what you want to be when you “grow up”, seek out a partner that loves you without you being perfect, freely love your family and friends, and ask for help when you need it. Admit your weaknesses and turn them into strengths, in your own time. Be compassionate, and know that what you give out, you’ll always get back. And know that a number could never define you, whether you’re 29 when you have a baby or 50 when you adopt one. Or never have one at all because it’s not for you. Find your soul mate when you’re in an old age home and 81 years old. Get married at 20 or divorced at 32. Because if you go by all those numbers and statistics, all it really adds up to is someone who spends way too much time adding up numbers and not enough time living their one and only life.



And that, my friends, is my rant for the day. No more watching the news in the morning for me!