Being a woman is a great point of pride for me. Despite periods, child-birth and working in a male dominated industry all of my life, I have never wished to be a man. Not when my boobs appeared overnight making school a bit uncomfortable, not when losing ten pounds is waaaaay easier for the male metabolism and not even when I catch a glimpse of a stretch mark on aforementioned breasts or belly from those babies of mine. I am proud to be a woman every second of every day. And I am even more ecstatic to have grown to be a woman who freely loves, speaks her mind and evolves. BUT, it wasn’t always this way.
When I was a kid, I was shy. Painfully shy and easily intimidated and embarrassed, especially in school. I was a bit reclusive and a huge bookworm. And no doubt, those books served as an escape for me. I frequently brought them to school, and read on the bus and during recess. My parents never discouraged this, though in this day and age parents would be pushed to get their child more involved in social activities. And that’s the strange part, I wasn’t anti-social. I just didn’t view most of my classmates as interesting as the characters in my books. I said “most”, not all of you!
In school I was the too tall, too quiet, too shy and eccentric (at best) dresser with the red hair. In “real life” at home, I was opinionated and welcome to be myself. And I identified with these girls I read about. I wished many times that Anne Shirley and I were “kindred spirits” on Prince Edward Island living at Green Gables. I still reread this book every year. I can still imagine myself in that house, on that island.
When I got older, I fell in love with Jo March from Little Women. After all, she wanted passionately to be a writer and was willing to sacrifice everything for that. She never settled in her pursuit for true love, she waited until someone came along who loved her for her fire and passion. And one after another, I began to read the classics with women heroines and internally identified with them. Outwardly, it didn’t manifest itself fully until a few years ago when I began to live unapologetically on my own terms. But I counted these women as models and people studies, fictional or not. And the list grew to include many more authors and fictional characters including Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Edna Pontellier, Jane Eyre, Elisabeth Bennett, Maya Angelou, Elinor and Marianne Dashwood (for entirely separate reasons) and of course, Jane Austen first and foremost. She was unafraid, speaking her mind, her opinions and her ardor through her characters, as women were not permitted to speak so freely as they are now. But she got her point across.
And I still look to these characters, as well as to the women in my life today, as examples and a means of support. Last year I read “Grand Ambition” about Glen and Bessie Hyde. She was a newlywed who had lived an artistic and unconventional life, facing the rapids of the Colorado River through the Grand Canyon at the behest of her new husband, Glen. This was on their honeymoon in 1928. She wrote about it, about their love and their adventure, before completely disappearing. It’s a fascinating read.
And I would be remiss to not mention the biggest literary influence, my great-grandmother. Reading her book would have been immensely important to begin with, but it reads as family history to me, which makes it so much more. And the fact that this strong, independent but still very emotionally feeling woman is related to me is another point of great pride.
Take a moment to think about your literary hero/heroine. Did they become a hero to you? A friend? A role model? I had so many that they became my gang, my posse backing and cheering me to stand up for myself and be who I always knew I could be. And you know if I’m using the word “posse”, I’m serious! I’m going somewhere with this, so take a moment to think about it. And join me in my next post so that I can elaborate. In the meantime, send me your feedback or make a comment. Tell me about your important literary character.
And again, thanks for reading and being you.
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